Whose Line Disney episode 3
by kegusaran 14
Summary: That's right, the long awaited episode 3 of Disney's Whose Line Is It Anyway! See Aladdin, Esmerelda, Clayton, and another wacky Fanfiction writer question the world, sing some songs, and take their cues from a hat. It's a Hades of a lot of fun!
1. Questions with hats

By now, most of the cast would and or should be dead by now, but nah. Special guest star, Mr. Animefan, who specifically requested for this to return. Send your thanks to that schmuck. ;)

"STOP!" cried the archdeacon. "The Salty Ferret One Shot won the poll on your page!" He said.

Welp... I'll get to it.

* * *

Mickey: Good evening everyone, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway! On tonight's show, our personal street corner rat, Aladdin!

Aladdin tipped his hat and smiled to the crowd.

Mickey: Our lippy missy and occasional tipsy gypsy, Esmerelda!

Es crossed her legs and put her hands behind her head, lounging.

Mickey: Our hunter who enjoys hanging around, Clayton.

Clayton gave Mickey a look of mock disgust while he rubbed his neck.

Mickey: And our odd otaku, Mr. Animefan.

The cop merely sat and smiled meekly as the applause was handed out full throttle from the audience.

Mickey: And I'm your host, Mickey Mouse, come on down and have some fun!

Mickey walked down to his desk from the audience, and the four performers sat in their regular seats to the left.

Mickey: Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything is made up and the points don't matter, that's right, they're just like opinions on the Internet.

A few chuckles were given from the audience, as well as an amused grin from each performer.

Mickey: It's great to have you on the show, Mr. Animefan.

Mr. Animefan: Thanks, you can call me Fan if it'd be easier.

Mickey: Well at least we have a Fan here, I was beginning to think nobody liked this show. Alright, our first game is Questions with Hats, this is for all four of you. What happens is you'll be put in a situation, two at a time, and you can only ask questions, as well as taking on the character of whatever hat you're wearing.

Fan: Oh, like that Looney Tunes short?

Mickey: Yeeeeah, ex nay on the Arner Brothers Way. What I need from the audience is a place where there's a sense of wonder.

As Es and Aladdin stood on one side of the stage, and Fan and Clayton got on the other, the audience gave forth some ideas.

Audience member #1: Castle!

#2: Neverland!

#3: Circus!

Mickey: Alright, Neverland. Aladdin and Clayton will start. If anybody makes a mistake by not asking a question, or if they take too long to speak, they'll be buzzed out and the other person will take their place. Whenever you guys are ready, go.

Aladdin and Clayton walked up to each other. Aladdin sported a cowboy hat, while Clayton wore a tiara.

Aladdin: Well howdy, where are y'all from?

Clayton: Don't you know of the princess of Neverland?

The audience roared with laughter at Clayton's extremely awkward high pitch. Aladdin was trying his hardest not to laugh. Clayton kept an innocent face with wide eyes, hamming it up more than a pig farm.

Aladdin: You're the princess of Neverland?

Clayton: Don't I look like it?

Clayton stood on his tip toes and did a small twirl. This was enough to get Aladdin to bust out laughing.

 _Bzzt!_

Aladdin walked off, Es taking his place wearing a brown trilby with a piece of paper sticking out of it. She made as if she were writing down things on a sketchpad. She talked with an overdramatic 40's accent.

Es: Is this a scoop or what? What's the princess doing out of the castle?

Clayton: Can't a girl get a little fresh air?

Es: Are you out here visiting a lover?

Clayton: Shouldn't that be confidential?

Es: Well do they have a moustache as good as yours?

Clayton: Yes. Wait-

 _Bzzt!_

Fan came to replace Clayton, wearing a pair of long, pink bunny ears.

Es: Say, are you one of the Lost Boys?

Fan: What's that, a 90's boyband?

Es: Well what are you doing here?

Fan: Can't you tell I'm trying to find Hugh Hefner's place?

Es face palmed as the audience laughed. She went to respond, but was promptly cut short.

 _Bzzt!_

She was replaced by Aladdin, who this time sported a trilby.

Aladdin: Have you ever met a nice guy before?

Fan paused for a moment, but then pulled his ears off, and put as much testosterone into his voice as he could.

Fan: Have you?

 _Bzzzzzzzzt!_

Mickey: Alright, good job everyone.

The four went back to their seats.

Mickey: A thousand points for Clayton, for going through puberty again just for that performance.

Clayton: Oddly enough, my voice was still deeper than yours.

The audience, as well as Mickey, laughed.

* * *

Welp, it's been a while, so my writing skills have been a bit rusty. I will continue to work on them. In the meantime, leave any suggestions you'd like, because next chapter is everyone's favorite game, Scenes from a Hat.


	2. Scenes from a Hat

As customary, I enjoy waiting for suggestions for the hat... but then I remembered if I don't write this thing soon, it'll join every other project I've ever started and never finished in limbo.

* * *

Mickey: Next is everybody's favorite game, scenes from a hat! All four of you, come on down.

The four came to the ends of the stage, as usual two to each side. Mickey pulled out the Sorcerer's Apprentice hat, filled with notecards. Fan snuck a peek over at them, only to have Mickey swat him away.

Mickey: How this game goes is the audience wrote down some scenes they'd like these four to perform, and we took all the good ones and put em in this hat. I'll pick them out, as well as the occasional rabbit.

Fan: You'd think he's kidding, Thumper is hanging out in there.

A few members of the audience laughed at the overly corny joke. Mickey decided to hurry and get the game started.

Mickey: _Rejected Dwarves for Snow White._

Es (doing a decent Peter Dinklage impression): Greetings, I'm Tyrion Lannister.

 _Bzzt!_

Aladdin (putting his thumb and index finger to his mouth and pretending to smoke): Wassup dude, I'm Dopey.

 _Bzzt!_

Clayton: The apple, you should not eat. Mhhmm mhm hmmm.

 _Bzzt!_

Fan: Nyeehhh, what's up Doc?

 _Bzzzzt!_

Mickey: _First drafts of movie lines from Cinderella._

Fan: Bippity Boppity BAM! Carriage! What's up!

 _Bzzt!_

Clayton (all in a sing-song voice): A dream is a wish that your heart makes, a nightmare is when reality sets in.

 _Bzzt!_

Mickey: All right, _Lines that were cut out of the trailer for the movie Treasure Planet_.

Aladdin: The vivid story of someone who read Treasure Island while taking acid.

 _Bzzt!_

Clayton: We swear Martin Short won't be TOO annoying in this.

 _Bzzt!_

Mickey: _Odd choices for romantic leads in film._

Es: Just because it's a sperm whale, doesn't mean it's going to be good in bed.

 _Bzzt!_

Mickey: Are we going to have to censor that?

Fan: I thought that costs money?

Mickey: ... Yeah good point, keep goin.

Aladdin: Now I've heard about doing it on a carpet... but how about _with_ a carpet.

 _Bzzt!_

Mickey: I think the worst part about this is, you know somewhere on the Internet there are stories about these. Alright, last one. _What Mr. Animefan is thinking right now._

Fan: So _this_ is what regret feels like!

 _Bzzzzzzt!_

Everyone laughed as the actors went to sit back down.

Mickey: 500 points for everyone, first episode where the censors didn't have to do their jobs!

The audience actually applauded, and the performers bowed.

Mickey: Who'd guess Disney can finally be PG friendly?

* * *

I had raunchier stuff for some of these, but c'mon guys. There are kids probably reading some of these somewhere... probably not. That and some of them I just thought were funny ONLY to the dirty minded, which I try for the most part to avoid... for the most part... I failed.


	3. Home Shopping

And now, a special announcement from the remaining cast of Whose Line.

Mickey: And welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway, where the chapters take a year and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like your hopes that this show will ever get finished. Is everyone still here?

Fan: Uh, no. They all got new jobs.

Mickey: Understandable. For those just tuning in, ABC and Disney got into another fight regarding air time. We were a bit mad that they replaced the idea of Disney-cember, a month full of Disney films, for a very long marathon of the Harry Potter films... again.

Fan: Just like what happened with Halloween.

Mickey: And Valentine's Day.

Lustig: And Groundhog's Day.

Es: And Arbor Day.

Mickey: Oh hey, you two came back.

Es: I'm broke.

Lustig: I'm scheduled to appear on a talk show tomorrow, and this'll help people remember who I am.

Mickey: You could try writing again.

Lustig: Did I seriously just hear that coming from you?

Mickey: Well, we're going to need the original cast, otherwise people will get confused.

Lustig: Oh yeah, because this story has such a gripping plot, don't wanna confuse the masses.

-Intermission Over-

* * *

A/N: And now, the ACTUAL 3rd chapter... I'll make it up to you by finishing this one tonight or tomorrow... before 2017 rolls around at least.

* * *

On stage, a wide podium sat with a box behind it.

Mickey: Alright, we're back. Next game we're going to play is "Home Shopping" this is for Fan and Es. In this game, they're going to try advertising random items from within that box. Whenever you're ready.

Es: Hi!

Fan: Hi!

Es: To the hardworking, respectable characters of Disney films-

Fan: And the losers, (cough) Good Dinosaur (cough).

Es: We know it's a hard world out there, and that you're constantly on the run with your gripping plots and lovable characters.

Fan: And those who wish they had good plots and characters, (cough) Home on the Range (cough).

Fan: And to help you with your busy life, we're going to sell you some fabulous items.

Esmeralda rummaged through the box, grabbing something and keeping it hidden.

Es: Say Fan, do you ever find yourself grappling with the villain, you know you might not make it, and you can feel yourself losing?

Fan: Nope.

...

Es: Welp, then, someone sounds like someone needs to learn how to play along. Let's just skip to the next one.

Fan rummaged through the box.

Es: Hey Fan, what you got there?

Fan pulled out a cellphone with a large red R button.

Fan: This is a great tool to help out 99.99% of Disney heroes and heroines. Do you know of anyone missing a parent or relative of some kind.

Es merely waved her had to the crowd, with varying degrees of sad laughter and sighing. Meanwhile, Mickey and Clayton laughed, and Al chuckled, happy to know he actually had at least one.

Fan: Right, so this button calls into a company and let's you find someone to replace your dead relative.

Es: Wow, so you can get yourself a new parent, AND you can get your mom or dad a new spouse.

Fan: Eeyup!

Es: And does anyone have to consent to it?

Fan: Nnnope!

Es: Where is that device from?

Fan: The Replacements.

Es: What the hell is that?

Fan: Good question. Tell me Es, how much would you pay for this device?

Es: Oh well, a hundred dollars?

Fan: That's crazy!

Es: A thousand dollars?

Fan: That's crazy!

Es: An entire vault full of coins that one could dive into?

Fan:... Yeah, that'll work.

Es: Alright, folks. Our final offer of the day, (rummaging ensues), is (more rummaging, then a reveal).

Fan: The corpse of Gurgy form Black Cauldron?

Es: Close! It's a Trump Toupee! If you're a villain, but find you aren't getting the recognition you deserve, put this blotch of roadkill on your head! You'll have followers by the hundreds, nay, thousands.

Fan: That seems like a very inexpensive gift.

Es: Sure is, just ask your newly acquired dad for a small loan of a million dollars, and you could have it in no time.

(Bzzt!)

Mickey: Alright, thanks for that guys. No points scored, you brought up he who shall not be named.

Fan: Fair enough.

* * *

HAHA, I shall feast on your disappointment! Though, really, if you somehow brought yourself to enjoy this chapter, thank Vrel for recommending I go back to this. I'm positive this series will end on the third episode, and we'll try to make sure the last chapter is a high note, since... well... the rest of this one isn't so much. (Dunno why, but I'm not very good at writing games outside of Scenes and Hoedowns).

Oh well, bring up some hoedown ideas if you'd like.


	4. Hoedown

This may be hard to believe, but I am once again late.

* * *

Mickey, Aladdin, Clayton, and Fan stood on the stage, while Es sat behind the desk.

Mickey: Hello, and welcome back to Whose Line, our winner for this episode, Esmeralda!

Es gave a bow and sat back down, relaxed in the knowledge that she didn't have to take part in the last game.

Mickey: It's time for the last game of the evening, hoedown! What I need from the audience is something you hate about Disney.

Audience 1: Sequels!

Audience 2: Remakes!

Audience 3: Disney is perfect!

Mickey: Yeah, you're not getting any brownie points for that.

Audience 3: ... You!

Es: I'll take that one.

Mickey: Yeah, no. We'll do sequels. Sequel remake.

Minnie began playing the tune, and Mickey was the first to go.

Mickey: _If they ask about more sequels, I don't think we should.  
We haven't really made any, that are all that good.  
And now that we've got Star Wars, I just gotta think,  
please don't let us screw up as bad as making Jar Jar Binks._

A soft applause, and a few laughs follow.

Aladdin: _Now I have to say, sequels aren't a thong I'm missin,  
I keep remembering when Genie sounded like a Simpson.  
But honestly, things could've gone a whole lot worse,  
At least none of them end up with me riding in a hearse. _

Clayton: _One thing Disney likes, is to prolong their movies' stories.  
_ _I don't really know why, cough cough, it's probably to sell toys.  
I don't know how long it'll take, to get one more Tarzan,  
but rest assured, my good friends, you won't see me again. _

Clayton followed this up by putting his hand around his throat and making a choking noise. Some of the audience laughed, while others merely clapped.

Fan: _This may be sort of silly, but sequels aren't a thing I hate.  
Even if that list includes Cinderella 8.  
Some have been weird sure, but at least they haven't made,  
another prequel-sequel-midquel of Little Mermaid._

All: _Of Little Mermaaaaaaaaaaaaid._

Mickey: Alright, thanks everybody for coming.

* * *

A/N: Now, back in 2013, I had been watching some old Whose Line clips, and I'd been thinking, man that looks like so much fun. It'd be a blast to do something like this. And then I thought about how that might relate to writing, as (even though I'm more a performer than a writer) I had easier outlets for writing. So I wrote down a short, four chapter story in two days, and I jokingly titled it episode 1, thinking 'There's no way people are gonna read this, like it, and expect more.' Literally, a day after the story was done, I had THREE SEPARATE PMs asking me when the next episode would be out.

Dude, three PMs? I count it as a miracle to get one on the subject of one of my stories, but three! FOR THIS ONE!

And, now? That joke story has 1000 reads, and is still rising. My second episode has 13 REVIEWS! I... would've never expected this sort of thing. And I'm extremely grateful for the love this very short trilogy has gotten. I'm ecstatic to think people got a kick out of my jokes, which I know haven't always been gut-buster-hilarious, and I love to think that people enjoyed something I (eventually) put more heart into.

I'd like to thank Vrel and Animefan for being a part of this, and I'd like to thank you all for reading this. Seriously, this really is gonna inflate my ego.

P.S. I know this is kind of weird and a bit overly sappy for three short stories getting love, but I can't help it. I really do appreciate all the response to these. Thank you guys. Seriously.


End file.
